Housecleaning

Living in a house with a former lover and planning to sell it, throwing things out, is a task that can easily eat up a weekend. And the little things that lurk in corners and crannies emerge again. Abhijnana, the sanskrit refers to the tokens of remembrance, I may not be Krapp, but i have a lot of crap, notebooks from former lives and forgotten lives, so it is that a notebook casually opened, reveals a diary more than 35 years old, and the thoughts of a younger self, all forgotton until the token brings them back.
Thoughts about an ancient lover, before it all became a habit of years, and before it all became dust and ashes. With regard to a once proudly embraced sang froid,

"Is it an honest reaction against love that would mold me or is it impotence, death of honesty, and the hidden vice"

Later the author discretely allows that

"Certain books were disposed of"

Yikes! couldn't those classic works of transgender erotica, Miss High Heels I would guess. http://www.castlekeys.com/library/Pages/misshh.html

even be refered to in private notebooks? Apparently not, and so hiding and throwing out things became the habit of decades until seriouls things got thrown out.

And the notebook has enough bad poetry to fill a girl's school. the best I humbly publish, this gem hidden in drawers for decades finally sees the light of day. A publishing event of note. Perhaps the literati can be drawn to this blog.

I
Amnesic burrowing creature
in tunnels undre cold earth
silently
sing

Need better poetry?

The forgotton self had copied a poem for that long ago lover

"In the void air towards thee
my strained arms are cast
but a sea rolls between us
our different past."

http://www.iment.com/maida/poetry/arnold.htm#parting