i wish i were in love again

Or do i?

In recent times, I have taken up a number of relationships in the context of being trans, and particularly in the context of being kinky trans. So at the current time, I belong to a poly family which means I am submissive to a dominant lady, and a dominant Tgirl. These are sort of casual relationships, which involve sex in the form of play. I should like to talk about poly, in the coming weeks since poly is very interesting, and in polyland polypeople have a whole lot of different ideas about love. Related to the poly is the sissygurl that i introduced into the family. Now she is someone that i have more of a traditional relationship with, if your idea of traditional is a bunch of boys who act like girls. That is a relationship worthy of a posting as well, so I will do that in the weeks to come as well. It is my second such relationship, and having a boyfriend, even if the boy is a trans, is something that i still have some trouble understanding, because i was never gay, and hardly bi, and now in my dotage, I haven't had a girlfriend in a while, and I have slept with a number of gurlz, who i tend to enjoy the way girls enjoy boys. Well if i say anymore, i will blush! so i will save that for a later entry. Finally, i have a bit of a vanilla relationship with a woman who i recently went on vacation with, and what is it that is so familiar? Oh right, she is my ex-wife, and I live with her! but recently we have been moving towards trying out some sexual play which we have avoided, but that is for later too.

The key is that none of these relationships is the sense of the song.

There are no sleepless nights, no endless fights, though perhaps the faint aroma of performing seals at times.

so i realize in deep in my poor bruised psyche, i wish i were a girl of an earlier generation, a femme frilly girl when it wasn't a retro choice, or a pastime. and if i were, a girl of my mother's generation, then surely i would love to hear Frank Sinatra sing I Wish I Were in Love Again.

But there is wisdom seeing the young lovers, chasing shadows, chasing tail, chasing their own tails, it is easy to feel sorry for them. I have wisdom, and know the limitations of earthly desire, or am i simply old. and did i mention that one of my relationships is with one of those poor young shadow chasers?

The Music Playing in Your Head

Music, particularly music that my parents loved, sometimes just comes upon me. I always feel a certain warmth, a certain melancholy. It is not just that my parents are long dead, and the music evokes them, but that feeling is in the music itself. Perhaps we do live in happier times.

This blog should probably be split into two parts. Tales of tranny lust and life in one blog. Whimsy and the mysteries of the east in the other. At any rate, this entry is almost totally devoid of tranny lust, though there are hints of other more socially acceptable forms of lust. At any rate, in the category of whimsy, I have been trying to improve my sanskrit by translating popular music, having played with Dylan and Hendrix... " sAcigama bhaSaka Jimi abhigantum anujanihi" .. I will help you with that one.. "Move over Rover..." No more help. Like Joyce, I write for generations unborn. I am finding the old songs more adaptable to sanskrit rhythmns, and this song has echoes that I hadn't noticed before.

kuha vA kutra vA

etad manye / samAya pUrva AvAbhyAm /ekAnya samAloka prAcya

kutra na cetami kuha vA

vasamAnam ambarAn avasathAh / etad hasat sama purA

kutra na cetami kuha vA

karmani pUrva prAbhavan / karmani punar sambhava

khalu manye samAstavAhi pUrva /prahasAva pUrva / samgamAva pUrva

ka janati kuha vA kutra vA

Apologies to those who know for any grammatical errors. Anyone want to play?

In particular kacit khikhivat devi ?